You Never Know When Your Kids Will Want to Talk

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My 8-year-old keeps surprising me.

I love her to death, but she’s a bit of a space cadet. 99% of the time, she doesn’t hear a word you’re saying because she’s goofing around.

Trying to talk to her about important things (logistics, life lessons, etc.) is worse than pulling teeth, unless you enjoy repeating yourself over and over. Getting her to sit still and listen, or move efficiently from Point A to Point B, is a herculean task.

She’s rarely serious. Not aloof, just silly, the way a kid should be.

And she can be moody, of course, often preferring to listen to music in the car instead of making conversation.

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7 Ways to Fight Toxic Positivity When Talking to New Parents

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May is the time for both Mothers’ Day and Mental Health Awareness Month. Coincidence?

I think not!

Perinatal depression has been rising, and suicide is among the top killers of new moms.

And with the pressure from social media to only show our best moments, it’s easy for new, already-overwhelmed parents to get sucked into a vortex of doom, gloom, and hiding to eat snacks and cry in the bathroom.

So it makes sense that we try to lift new parents up with strained optimism, but when we do that, we sometimes make things worse. It’s called Toxic Positivity — and it can invalidate a person’s feelings and add an extra layer of guilt on top of everything else they’re already dealing with.

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If you’re struggling to explain school shootings to your kids, you’re not alone

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There is plenty to worry about with a kindergartener.

They are tiny balls of cosmic energy focused entirely on whatever whim enters their head at any given moment and prone to forgetting anything they learned at school that week in favor of committing a particularly quirky and fun limerick to memory and shouting it, loudly, inside the house and to passerby at the park.

They are perfect and flawed, just like all of us, only more so and without the inhibitions and anxieties brought on by knowing exactly what the world is and what is lurking in it.

It seems great, to be honest.

Brett Levin / Flickr

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I Let My Kids Meet My Girlfriend Too Soon. I Won’t Do It Again.

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There’s a podcast I listen to called One Life, One Chance, hosted by hardcore singer Toby Morse, an explicitly positive person who’s a straight-edge vegan who sees the best in people.

And at the end of every interview, he asks, “do you have any regrets?”

Some say yes, and others say no, that the path they’re on is theirs alone, complete with its successes and failures.

I cannot relate to this. Like, at all.

Every single time he asks about regrets, my mind does one of those montages of moments where I die inside, pinpointing my fuckups, leaving me wishing certain things were different, curious what my life would be like had I played situations a little smarter.

I know I can’t change the past, but the past has come collecting its tax more than once. And because of those hard-knock lessons, I’ve learned to think critically and strategically when it comes to being a parent, for better or worse. 

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8 First Time Dad Tips I Wish I Knew Sooner

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I’ve been a dad for 8 years now, and as of this writing, I have two girls — 2 and 8.

In that time, I have learned a lot. And it seems that, somehow, I have more and more to learn each and every day. New mistakes to make! New ways to screw up!

As a first time dad, I knew next to nothing. The amount of responsibility in front of me was totally overwhelming.

It would be impossible for me to write an entire manual of everything you need to know as a first time dad.

But here are just a few simple first time father tips I picked up that I wish I knew from the very beginning.

Let’s get right into my list!

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8 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Daughter Went Through Puberty

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As a man in his soon-to-be late 30s, I’m pretty far removed from puberty.

But from what I can remember, there were mostly a lot of pimples, a growth spurt or two, and awkwardly trying to find myself in middle and high school.

Overall, though, not a crazy experience and certainly nothing that required a lot of hand-holding.

Now, I have a daughter, and she’s starting to go through puberty, and I realize how much different the experience is for girls than boys. The worst thing I had to worry about was an erection at a bad time. For girls, a worst-case scenario is much more intense.

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9 Captivating & Heartwarming Books About Dads & Fatherhood

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Dads often don’t have the best representation in literature.

In a lot of novels, the father character is some combination of:

  • Toxic
  • Absent
  • or dead!

So if you’re looking for the best books about dads, you might be having some trouble finding good options.

Without any further ado, here are my favorite novels about dads and fatherhood — many of which (but not all) are actually positive and uplifting!

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9 Baby Things (Almost) No One Needs to Buy

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If this is your first baby, there’s no getting around it.

You’re gonna need a lot of stuff!

The list of things you need for a newborn is long and expensive, which is why registries for baby showers are so helpful.

But beware! A lot of the products put out by Big Baby are really just a Big Waste of Money. You won’t need a lot of fancy gadets and gizmos to survive baby’s first year, I promise.

Here are 9 baby registry products you almost certainly don’t need — and a few that you actually do.

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The 13 Worst Pieces of Parenting Advice You Should Definitely Ignore

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When you become a new parent, it’s inevitable that you’ll be bombarded with advice from nearly everyone in your life.

Much of it is well-meaning. People are just trying to help!

But whether the advice and tips are outdated or just plain wrong, you should probably ignore most of what you hear.

Here is some of the absolute worst parenting advice new parents hear all the time, and why you should definitely ignore it.

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65 Reward Ideas for Kids (And brain-science explained)

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Parenting isn’t all that hard.

(Sarcasm incoming!)

There’s really nothing to it except:

  • Keeping your child alive
  • Making sure they’re properly fed
  • Getting them enough sleep
  • Helping them do well in school
  • Teaching them to be good, moral people

You know. Just those couple of little things.

And when it comes to getting your child to do, or not do, the things you need them to on their way to becoming fully-functioning and healthy adults, you often need a two-pronged approach.

You can use rewards, and you can use punishments or consequences.

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30+ Essential Statistics About Fathers in 2024

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You might have guessed from the name of my blog, but I think dads are super important.

And it’s not just me! The science and data backs me up pretty well.

So if you’re looking for some fatherhood statistics that show why dads matter, or just some fun facts and data on the importance and impact of fathers, look no further.

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I tried Artkive to organize my toddler’s art (Honest Review)

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Artkive box review

Any parent of a toddler who goes to school knows this problem well:

The absolutely endless influx of artwork that enters your house on a daily basis.

Yes, it’s cute! It’s adorable! It’s a piece of history!

It’s also incredibly annoying when the pile starts to take over entire rooms in your house.

I’ve written before about some different storage solutions for this particular problem, but there was one, in particular, I really wanted to try first hand:

The Artkive box — It’s a box you fill up with your kid’s art and send off in the mail. A few weeks later, you’ll get a professionally bound book filled with photos of the art. Much easier to store!

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9+ Ways to Be a Better Dad According to Science

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Dads matter.

You probably already knew that, and so did I.

But don’t take it from me. Because the science on the subject is clear as day.

Children with good, loving, actively involved fathers have better outcomes in life.

They:

  • Have healthier relationships
  • Make more money & have more career success
  • Have less psychological problems
  • And often have higher IQs than their peers

That’s not to denigrate single mothers! Or lesbian couples! And it doesn’t doom kids who grow up without a father for one reason or another.

But if you’re alive and well, you owe it to your kids to be the best possible father you can be.

The question is: How exactly can you be a better dad?

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Father vs. Dad: One’s a title, one’s a choice

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I’ve never once called my dad my “father.”

The word just doesn’t come out of my mouth. I use it on medical paperwork. Maybe when I’m explaining something biological, like “he’s the biological father”, but in real life, talking about the man who raised me? Never.

I don’t think that’s an accident.

“Father” has always felt cold to me. Clinical. Like the difference between a house and a home — technically the same thing, but you know immediately which one you actually live in.

“Dad” is what you call someone who showed up.

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Aquaphor vs Aquaphor Baby (girl dad of 2 explains)

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There’s a lot of baby stuff you don’t need. And then there’s Aquaphor.

You will absolutely need lots and lots of diaper cream for your baby, and Aquaphor will be your main Go-To for everyday use.

But when you’re shopping or building your registry, you’ll probably end up wondering:

What’s the difference between Aquaphor vs Aquaphor Baby? Are they the same thing with the same ingredients?

Short answer: there isn’t one.

I know that sounds too simple. But I’ve gone through the ingredient lists on both products side by side, and they’re identical. Same formula, same amounts, just different packaging.

Here’s the proof:

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5 vs. 5T kids clothes: the only thing that actually matters (a girl dad explains)

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When your kids are transitioning out of the toddler years, there’s a small window of time when their clothes sizing gets a little confusing. When they’re about 5, for example, you’ll see some clothes marked as size 5 and others marked as 5T. Some stores have one or the other, some carry both and make you choose.

What’s the difference?

My oldest is 11 now and my youngest just turned 5, so I’ve run this particular gauntlet twice. Here’s what actually matters:

Size 5 and 5T are basically the same thing. The T still stands for toddler, meaning the clothes are cut with a little extra room in the seat for a diaper or pull-up. Once your kid is in regular underwear, size 5 is the move. If they’re still in pull-ups at night or not quite there yet, stick with 5T.

Size 5 can sometimes be just a smidge longer, for slightly taller children.

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Binky vs. pacifier: Is there actually a difference? (A formerly-confused dad explains)

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When my wife was pregnant with our first, everyone kept saying “binky” and I kept nodding like I knew exactly what they meant. I’d heard the word, obviously, but I didn’t really know what they were talking about.

I genuinely thought maybe a binky was a different product, maybe a specific brand name or something. I went way too far down a rabbit hole on this.

Here’s the answer: a binky and a pacifier are the same thing. Binky is just a nickname — same as paci, dummy, soothie, bah-bah, suckie, or dodie depending on where you’re from. Same object, just different words.

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The number of new dads with postpartum depression is way worse than we thought

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Having a baby is a lot harder than many of us want to admit.

You’ve undoubtedly heard of postpartum depression, typically thought of as a major risk for new moms due to hormonal changes and the overall strain of motherhood.

But a new study just suggested that serious depression after the birth of a child is affecting dads, too — and at way higher rates than we initially thought.

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