One of the biggest challenges of being a parent is keeping your shit together around your kids.
Sure, When they’re little, they do little kid stuff like drawing on themselves, the couch, the wall, and the dog in a very black, thick, and hard-to-get-off Magic Marker. Or they whizz in their pants when you’re a whopping five minutes from the front door. Or if you’re raising boys, they pee everywhere that isn’t a toilet. Or these minor demons refuse to eat when you let them pick out every ingredient on the plate.
(God, how many times have you made Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or pulled out a cheese pizza from the freezer? Most adults need a multiyear detox after the kids’ palates expand.)
But I’m not talking about those kinds of moments of small furies.
Instead, it’s when kids say things that make you clasp your hand over your mouth, look away and pretend what they just said wasn’t hilarious.