If you didn’t grow up singing the Diarrhea Song, did you even have a childhood?
Sure, it’s gross and has a tendency to make you lose your lunch when you take it too far, but hey, it’s fun!
And if you’re a parent, you’ll want to learn or refresh your memory on this one so you can pass on the joy to your own kids. It’s 100% guaranteed to make them fall down laughing.
For those not in the know, what is the Diarrhea Song?
The Diarrhea Song is a silly song made popular in the 1989 movie Parenthood. It has only a few official verses (all about — surprise! — diarrhea!) but part of the fun is making up your own lyrics that fit the song’s template.
Here’s the full official lyrics and a few other fun things everyone needs to know about the Diarrhea Song.
The official lyrics from the movie
The movie opens with the lead family, the Buckmans (including the dad, Gil, played by Steve Martin) riding down the road in the family car.
The kids in the back start gleefully singing:
When you’re sliding into first and you’re feeling something burst…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sliding into third and you feel a juicy turd…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sliding into home and your pants are full of foam…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sitting in a Chevy and your shorts are feeling heavy…
Diarrhea!
Watch the full clip below to learn the tune and lyrics for yourself!
Quick note: From what I can tell, the movie Parenthood did not invent the Diarrhea Song, though it did make it even more popular.
Kids who grew up in the 70s and 80s recall singing this tune before the film ever came out, so it’s safe to say the song predates the movie by at least a few years.
Still, the movie gets credit for bringing diarrhea into the mainstream!
Is there a verse for second base in the baseball diarrhea song?
Ah, this is a subject of great debate!
The movie Parenthood doesn’t feature a verse about second base, but that hasn’t stopped enterprising Internet users and parents from coming up with their own.
Some of the most popular I’ve seen:
When you’re sliding into two, and your pants are filled with goo…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sliding into second and you feel the toilet beckon…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re running into second and you need a disinfectant…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Feel free to make up your own second base lyric for the diarrhea song.
Let me know in the comments if you know a good one!
Add your own lyrics!
Part of the fun and lore of the song is that it goes way beyond the official lyrics.
Once you get the template and tune, you can add lyrics ad infinitum (or ad nauseum, whichever seems more appropriate).
You can get endless entertainment out of singing this song with your kids as you add more and more ridiculous and disgusting verses!
Here are a few of the common extra verses I’ve seen around the web:
When you’re climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re swimming in a pool and you feel something cool…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re riding in a Chevy and you feel something heavy…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re climbing up a tree and it trickles down your knee…
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sitting on the commode
And your butt starts to explode
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sitting down in class
And the teacher passes gas
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re sitting in the pool
And you feel something cool
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you’re exploding into the bowl
And there’s nothing on the roll
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you jump and do a flip
But you feel something drip
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Keep searching and brainstorming and you’ll find or come up with endless variations!
There’s also another famous Diarrhea Song that’s not about baseball…
Maybe you know this one from your childhood?
It goes something like this:
Diarrhea, uh, uh, Diarrhea, uh, uh,
People think it’s funny, but it’s really dark and runny
Diarrhea, uh, uh, Diarrhea, uh, uh,
People think it’s gross, but I eat it on my toast
Diarrhea, uh, uh, Diarrhea, uh, uh
This is actually a very similar tune and lyrical melody to the baseball diarrhea song, just a slight variation.
Other fun things to know about the movie Parenthood
Besides being a classic in its own right, as well as being the birthplace of the diarrhea song (or at least the pop-culture tipping point), here are a few other fun things you might want to know about the movie Parenthood.
- The movie is actually based on Ron Howard (and the other producers’) experience parenting their own children.
- Steve Martin, on the other hand, didn’t become a parent in real life until he was 67 years old!
- Though they don’t tell the same exact story, the popular NBC television series Parenthood is based on the 1989 film.
- A young Joaquin Phoenix is in the movie, but he’s credited as Leaf Phoenix.
And in case you’ve never seen it, here’s the official summary from IMDB:
Three Buckman siblings attempt to raise their children – each in their own different style – and deal with the joys and sorrows that the process brings.
Wrapping Up
That about covers it!
That’s pretty much everything you could ever want to know about the Diarrhea Song.
Yes, this poopy song was around long before the movie as best I can tell, but most people know it from the 1989 Steve Martin film, Parenthood.
The song only has four official verses that appear in the movie, but there are PLENTY of others floating around the Internet. And the best part is you can always make up your own to make the song even more fun… and gross.
Try this out with your kids, I guarantee they’ll love it!
Hope this was helpful, folks! If you learned something new, scroll down to find out how you can keep up with more from my blog.
(And check out the lyrics for one of my other favorite children’s songs, A Ram Sam Sam.)